Somebody Needs to Say Something

First, I would like to give the disclaimer that I don't aim to insult or belittle anyone. I only speak on what I see and hope to shed light on what I believe to be rampant fashion faux paz in our communities. It's important that somebody say something about the tomfoolery that I'm sure many of you have seen polluting the social scene. I truly believe that only through dialogue will we be able to eradicate this shameful behavior in some of our more fashionably-disabled sisters. LMAO...okay it's really not THAT serious but dammit it's at least something to shake your head at.

I've seen three particular trends that are really just disappointing and frankly embarrassing for me. You know that feeling you get when someone does something so embarrassing on TV that you have to change the channel? Well, that's exactly how I feel when I see women trying to pass what is clearly a shirt off as a dress, or taking their shoes off in public and walking with them in hand, or piling their purses on the floor in the club. Yes, I know some of you are thinking some of this doesn't happen, but I can tell you that I have witnessed all three things, on multiple occasions, with my own two eyes. Who told these clucks that this was acceptable behavior?

A top is just that...a top. It is not meant to cover bottom as well, and that would explain why I have had the unfortunate experience of seeing the darker portions of many ladies upper thigh areas as I walk into, around, or out of a club/party. The truth of that matter is unless you are 5'2 or below there is NO WAY that you can successfully pull this off. And even some of us in the aforementioned category can't work it. It takes a special kind of top, of the tunic or unreasonably long variety to make this work and even then you probably need the build of a ten year-old boy to prevent looking like you belong on the corner of 14th. With that being said, let's just not take the chance at any height; for the sake of your own dignity and my eyes.

It takes a special kind of woman to gracefully deal with the pain of an unreasonably painful but equally as fabulous shoe. If you can't take the pain...stay the HELL out of the shoes! I really think it just degrades an ensemble when I see a woman in a great outfit with a great pair of shoes in hand. It's even more degrading when the ensemble was horrible to begin with and then here comes the assailant holding a pair of pumps she got earlier from Gussinni! And if you can imagine...it gets worse. I've actually seen women in a certain club located on East West highway, pull out BEDROOM SLIPPERS from there clutches. [Insert straight face here]! Is this really where we are right now? You're pulling out slippers in a CLUB? Ladies, if a pair of shoes hurt your feet to the extent that you can't wear them for longer than a 4 hour period...THEY DON'T FIT! If you can't deal with sky-high stilettos, or a 6 inch platform, go to Macy's, get yourself a pair of sensible heels and save yourself the disgrace of holding your shoes, purse and pride as you exit the club.

And speaking of purses, when did it become acceptable to pile you and your friend's purses on the floor in the club so you can dance freely? Have you seen a club floor in full light? Not only is this disgusting considering the mix of substances that can be found on any given club's floor at night, but it's also unladylike! Clearly women who engage in this practice don’t have the sense enough or coordination to hold their purse under one arm, do the full choreography to "Single Ladies," sip on a Goose and cranberry and not spill a drop! Damn...can we please step our game up in 2009!

Chivalry has supposedly been dead and apparently etiquette is following suite! Granted women aren't held to as strict standards as we were before, but that doesn't mean that we should turn a blind eye to advocating class and grace. Don't let others determine what you do and how you dress, but keep in mind that everything you do helps to form what image others have of you. No need to show your nether regions to the world in your "shirt dress", or wear unnecessarily painful shoes to prove some moot point, and throwing your purse on the floor just really isn't a good look...it will surely make you broke and you need all the money you can get to buy some dresses and better shoes.